Good things never happen on TV, so I’m here to tell you about the things that happened at today’s launch that are remarkable, but not * exactly * suitable for prime time. .

First, there was this pink dildo on the parade route. A brilliant performance artist threw a giant pink dildo in the runway, and I’ll never be the same again.

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Then there were the pro-weed groups which gave over 8,000 seals. According to The Huffington Post, a group called DCMJ distributed many free seals in Washington to support federal cannabis law reform.

“We want to make America nice again,” said Amanda Frizz, a 26-year-old DCMJ activist. “We want people to be open-hearted and non-judgmental. It happened today.

At 11:30 am, the marijuana legalization folks had passed out 8,000 joints. I would say they succeeded.

And, more importantly, all the middle fingers during Trump’s speech. Trump’s inauguration had a terribly wrong turn, and all these people weren’t even there to support the speech. Apparently there were a lot of middle fingers in the air, waving like they didn’t care (about the 45th President of the United States).

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