Reflect. I was wondering if I should tell you about my dream because, you know, dreams can be crazy. But then we have them all. Law? You wake up in the middle of the night and you’re like, “Phew. Thank goodness it was just a dream.
So let’s go. I will tell you about my dream.
In my dream, I was leafing through one of the archery catalogs hunters receive in the mail at this time of year. They have all the new bows, arrows, and miscellaneous gadgets associated with bow hunting.
I shoot with a clumsy old crossbow. It does a good job of tagging deer as long as there is no operator error. But, like most hunters, I guess in my dream I watch new crossbows because there is a tendency to think that bigger-faster-newer might make me a better bow hunter. .
When I saw the crossbow that sold for $ 4,099.99, I think it almost woke me up. I remember dreaming that “Thank God this is just a dream”, but then in my dream I wake up from my dream, but it is actually only part of the dream.
Does this make sense? I didn’t know dreams could be so complicated.
Still dreaming, I think, “Hah, no archery hunter in these parts of Most Maryland or Always Heaven is going to spit four thousand dollars to shoot a 95 pound mountain deer.” Then all of a sudden (you know how dreams are) instead of looking at a catalog, I look at the crossbow online and find it comes with a fancy telescopic scope that tells you how far away it is. the deer. Then he mentions that you can use this bow and arrow to shoot down a deer 100 yards away.
I think. Excuse me. I dream that they have to try and sell these bows only to people who live in flat states like Kansas or those who hunt in mall parking lots. I filmed a semitrailer full of deer (no bragging, just a fact and remember this is a dream) with guns in these wooded mountains and I bet there are no had two shots as far as 100 yards. If you can’t see a deer 100 yards in this part of the planet, then why would you spend $ 4,099.99 on an instrument that will kill them at that distance?
The dream is getting crazier.
On my computer screen are reviews of hunters who have purchased the crossbow. Here is a sample.
• So far it’s awesome, it took a little while to shoot 442 fps out of the box, but dinner (sic) was easy once I started shooting it, I really am glad I used the bezel, it’s out of this world (this person lives in a world with no punctuation except for a few apostrophes. Apparently in my dream I’m also taking editor’s notes.)
• The bow is very light, easy to set up and extremely precise. By far the best I have ever owned. Definitely worth the cost of owning the best! (I’ve never hunted with one now, but apparently this person has.)
• This crossbow is lightning fast (sic), extremely precise and extremely quiet. On a bench I can reach quarter-sized groups at 40-50 yards. You’ll want to get your bolts back after 1 or 2 shots, otherwise it’s a good way to destroy bolts.
• This is my first crossbow I have practiced – I was shocked at the power and precision: FANTASTIC !!! (Someone needs to translate this one for me.)
In short, this is the essence of my dream. I know. It’s pretty weird. Someone wakes me up when the rut starts.
And sweet dreams.
Mike Sawyers retired as outside editor of the Cumberland Times-News in 2018. His column now appears every other Saturday. To order her book “Native Queen, a celebration of the hunting and fishing life”, send her a check for $ 15 at 16415 Lakewood Drive, Rawlings, MD 21557.