Not under his watch.
It was once a happy tradition; a cold and wet Sky Sports News reporter standing in front of speechless and exasperating football fans as he reels out the latest “facts” about a loan deal for Glen Johnson. Unfortunately, this is all history.
It was fun and fun until someone brought a purple dildo to a shootout. The singular act of probing Alan Irwin’s ear with a sex toy marked the end of an era, and from that day on all outdoor broadcasts have been taped away from the audience.
As such, Wednesday’s transfer deadline has passed us largely without incident, at least when it comes to the vibrating pleasure rods in people’s faces. But there was a late night incident which was ably handled by SSN staff.
The man in the sky, Charles Paterson, was reporting from the Scottish national team base, presumably to clarify if any players had been given special permission to leave and secure a transfer. But he was also joined by two unexpected special guests.
They were wedding breakers – or rather wedding guests breaking her live show. The point is, Charles was in no mood to indulge in their possibly drunken schemes. After all, he shouldn’t know if they were hiding rogue vibrators.
First, a woman just shouted “WAAAHAAAAYYYY !!!” down from the camera lens, then a cheeky cheeky man stood next to Paterson. Being something clever, he interrupted the transfer relationship with: “We are not going to accept your agreement!”
Charles didn’t care and handled everything with SAS-like efficiency. He firmly pushed the guy out of the way and commanded, “No! No! No! Thank you very much!”
What an absolute pro. And her ears also kept their virginity intact.